Where is the "on" switch?

I guess that I need to start sorting through all my emotional baggage. I haven't been able to bring myself to do much of anything this week. My eating was more under control, but it wasn't perfect either. I was unable to get my lazy butt moving at all. I guess the stress of the week just overwhelmed me. Yes, I know that working out will help manage my stress...it doesn't make me put on my shoes and go though.

I have done this before. I lost 40 pounds 6 years ago. What is the difference between now and then? Other than our financial woes, I can't see much difference. Well, I did have one less child then, but it's not his fault his mommy isn't working out.

I really think my block is fear. I'm afraid to do anything that will take me out of my comfortable little box. I don't like being fat, but it's the devil I know, ya know? If I were to become thin, would I be forced to notice all the other things wrong with my life? Confrontation of any sort is not my strong point. I back down from fights.  I am usually so worried about what other people will say that I won't tell someone off if it is the right thing to do. It's not a matter of picking my battles. I don't battle at all. Even if someone pushes me to my limit, I only explode and immediately back away. Have the last word and run.

I wish that I didn't have so many other worries. They aren't going to go away so I have to learn to manage the stress. I just wish I had a clue of how to do that.

How do the rest of you deal with the stress of  life and manage to work out? I'm still trying to find that magic on switch that doesn't really exist. How did I do this before?

Looking back, what I remember is just taking the dog for a walk one night and enjoying myself. From there I just started walking most every night, and I started eating healthily. It all just seemed to happen. It couldn't  have been that easy, but maybe it was. I was just ready then. Maybe now I have to make the right time instead of it just all falling into place.

Well, I had better start cleaning. My mom and stepdad will be here in a few hours to help me with the bathroom, and I don't want the house to be a total wreck. Off to clean toilets I go!