Can I use anger as motivation?

Normally I tend to eat my emotions...quite literally. I've been eying  up the cake that is sitting on the kitchen counter, but I haven't touched it ( it helps that it is stale lol). I had oatmeal and pineapple for breakfast. I'm drinking my coffee and waiting for the washer to finish.

I am undeniably pissed off though. It is most certainly not my fault if certain members of this household cannot get themselves up and out the door on time without me having to rouse them. It is not my fault if they are late because as they are adults and should be able to manage their own time. So why do I feel like I've done something wrong?

I think that is the true block to my motivation. I spend so much time worrying about how everyone else is feeling and squelching my own emotions that I don't allow myself to live. I'm walking on eggshells trying to keep the peace. What about how I feel? Doesn't anyone see that I'm being smothered? Aren't my feelings valid?

The sad truth is that I've allowed my feelings to take a backseat. I've done it for so long that maybe no one here recognizes that I have thoughts and opinions of my own. You can't be a doormat unless you lie down and let them walk on you.

I promised myself that this year would be about me, but thus far I have failed miserably. No more!! I deserve happiness. I deserve so much more than what I allow myself. I can't always put myself first, but I will try (having 2 kids makes it a bit tougher to manage).

I'm off to take out my anger on the housework, and then I am going outside to enjoy the sunshine!!

Hope you are having a good weekend!!